The Cinch Review

Spontaneous human combustion in Oklahoma?

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Spontaneous human combustion theorized by sheriffA local sheriff in Sequoyah County, Oklahoma, is seriously investigating the possibility that a 65-year-old man died as result of spontaneous human combustion. A neighbor saw smoke coming from the door to the man’s home. The body is said to have been not only burned but “incinerated,” while there was no damage to the house or furniture.

Well, I introduced my theory on this subject a few weeks ago. My paper is still awaiting peer review. The question is: Could this man’s life have been saved by a thirty dollar humidifier?

I know: it’s not quite fitting to joke about a man’s death. May he rest in peace, and may those who loved him be comforted. Yet, this kind of thing is so bizarre that one feels that there is maybe a little leeway for levity.

And then, there is also always the possibility that my theory is right, and I therefore have an obligation to promote it in the name of saving someone’s life.

Well, excuse me, I think that it’s getting time to go fill up that humidifier again.

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